February 17, 2017 by unclespike218
There really isn’t a good way to end things, is there?
And I did last night. I finally pulled the trigger. After a long, long time of hemming and hawing. It went about as well as can be expected, which is to say, not very well. Lots of shock, incipient anger, and feelings bubbling to the surface. They’re erupting this morning. Me, I’ve been holding back. But it hasn’t been fun.
How does one act upon being the asshole that ends a 15 year relationship? I don’t know. I have no experience. I tried to stay out of Mr. Man’s way. He got angry that I was avoiding him, didn’t even say good morning or anything this morning. Okay, so apparently that’s not the way. I get the feeling that at least he’d like to stay friends, if at all possible. Well, so would I. So at least some affection is called for, some continued sharing of the house duties, some evidence that I’m not an evil, heartless monster. Which, because I tend to be much less emotional than he, could be construed as such. I haven’t cried over this. I suspect he has, quite a bit.
He’s bitter, partially assuming I’m happy about this. Over the short term, definitely not. Who likes to go through shit like this? After a while, I expect that I will be happier. But for now, no.
Maybe I need a therapist or something over the short term. It’s gonna hurt.