December 14, 2015 by unclespike218
Can we talk 23andMe for a bit?
As you all know, or will know in 0.1 seconds, I’m adopted. No clue who my parents are, and up until about a year ago, I had an on/off desire to know who they were. Then, through the miracles of the world wide webiverse and someone who was willing to do some pro bono quick sleuthing, I found a woman, said to have an 80% chance of being my mom. Looked her up on Faceplace, and…yeah…lost a lot of interest right there. Turns out she’s the type to cut and paste her disembodied face on pics of hot women all over the place, trying to make herself out to be a lot more interesting than…well, let’s just say in my decidedly harsh and judgmental way that she comes across as desperate and sad. And if that’s my mom, I’m not sure I wanna know more. I certainly hope not. And…wow, what a sad think to conclude about a potential parent! What would having a mom like that say about me?
But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to know about my ancestry, my genetic health tendencies and risks, and other such sundry things. So I, with the prodding of my naturopathic doc, decided to submit some spit to 23andMe to see what they could find out about me.
It’s been about 6 weeks…6 long and starting-to-be-agonizing weeks. The website is cool and chock-full of information about what they do, what the process is like, yadda. They also update where they are on the process of figuring out your genetic info. And for 2+ weeks now, they’ve been “almost ready,” preparing and interpreting my genetic reports. Damn, it’s been a long 2 weeks. I’m sitting on pins and needles, starting to think I’m an alien, and they’ve never seen a genome quite like mine before, and they can’t explain exactly what I am. (Cue Natalie Merchant’s “Wonder,” which I hum occasionally when I go to 23andMe.)
So I’m hoping and praying that this week brings me my early Christmas present. And I hope the information therein is enlightening and helpful.